During a routine patrol, a Republic County cop parked down the street from Two Doors Down.
After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the bar. The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled around the street for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.
He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons paid no attention to this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off.
Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry Kansas summer night) flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn, and switched on the headlights.
He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the Main Street was empty; he pulled out of the parking spot and started to drive slowly down the road.
The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over. He performed a breathalyzer test on the gentleman who cooperated fully, and to his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Belleville.
This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Bohunk,
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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